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The Great Farting of America: Meet the Man Behind the Movement to Rename Forts Across the Nation

Writer's picture: Gary MillerGary Miller

As political movements go, few can compare to the scope and ambition of the campaign to rename every city in the United States with "Fort" in its name to "Fart." And at the forefront of this movement is Upton O. Goode, a man with a vision and an unwavering commitment to his cause.

Goode has been a tireless activist for years, crisscrossing the country and lobbying local politicians to change the names of their cities. And his efforts have paid off - last month, Fort Lauderdale became Fart Lauderdale, much to the delight of Democrats in Congress.

"This is a historic moment," said Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who has been a vocal supporter of Goode's campaign. "By changing these outdated and offensive names, we are taking a step towards a more inclusive and just society."

But Goode isn't content to rest on his laurels. His next target is Fort Collins, Colorado, a city he believes is long overdue for a name change.


"He who smelt it dealt it"

"The name 'Fort Collins' is offensive to people with respiratory issues," Goode said in a recent interview. "We need to acknowledge that and do better. Fart Collins is a much more appropriate name for the city."

While some have dismissed Goode's campaign as frivolous, there is no denying that it has struck a chord with many Americans. A recent poll found that over 70% of respondents supported the idea of renaming cities with "Fort" in their names.

"This could be the biggest political movement in American history," said political analyst David Axelrod. "It has the potential to reshape our national identity and redefine our values."

Only time will tell if Upton O. Goode and his supporters will succeed in their mission to change the names of America's cities. But one thing is certain - they have already made their mark on the political landscape, and their impact will be felt for years to come.


This is America


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