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I Invented Sliced Bread First, But it Was Vertical

Recently, I stumbled upon a long-lost journal entry from my Great-Great Uncle Harold Miller. In it, he describes a groundbreaking invention that he discovered long before the world knew about sliced bread. It's a fascinating and humorous account that sheds light on the forgotten innovators of history.


My name is Harold and I was the first person to discover sliced bread. But you wouldn't know that, because my discovery was forgotten in history.
You see, everyone knows about Otto Rohwedder, who invented the first bread-slicing machine in 1928. But what most people don't realize is that I had already been slicing my bread for years by then.
I first came up with the idea of slicing bread vertically back in 1910. At the time, I was working at a bakery in New York City, and I was constantly frustrated with how difficult it was to cut bread evenly. So, I started experimenting with different techniques and eventually came up with the idea of slicing the bread vertically.
It was a game-changer. Not only did it make slicing bread much easier and more efficient, it also made the slices more uniform and aesthetically pleasing. I started using this technique on all the bread I baked, and soon other bakers in the area were copying my method.
But then something happened that changed everything. In 1928, Rohwedder's bread-slicing machine was introduced, and suddenly my method of slicing bread seemed outdated. The machine was faster, more precise, and more practical than my vertical slicing technique. Before long, everyone was using the machine, and my innovation was forgotten.
It's not that I'm bitter, per se. I mean, sliced bread is still a great invention, and I'm happy that people are able to enjoy it. But it's hard not to feel a little bit forgotten sometimes. I mean, I was the first person to come up with this idea, and yet my name isn't mentioned in any history books.
But maybe that's okay. Maybe I don't need the recognition. Maybe it's enough to know that I contributed something to the world, even if it was forgotten. And who knows, maybe someday someone will rediscover my vertical slicing technique and give me the credit I deserve.
In the meantime, I'll just keep slicing my bread vertically and enjoying my sandwiches in my own little way. After all, sometimes the greatest innovations are the ones that go unnoticed.


Everyone of you are fools

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