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Area Man's Calendar Mix-Up Leads to a Lifetime of Paranoia and Mistrust

Local man, Tom Johnson, is in a state of constant paranoia after a mix-up with his calendar left him unable to trust anyone for the rest of his life.

According to sources close to Johnson, the confusion began when he mistakenly circled the wrong date for April Fool's Day on his calendar. Instead of April 1st, Johnson had marked April 3rd as the day of pranksters, leading him to be caught off-guard by a series of jokes and pranks.

"I thought I was safe," Johnson explained. "But then people started pulling all these crazy stunts on me, and I didn't know what was real anymore."

Since the incident, Johnson has become increasingly suspicious of those around him, questioning the intentions of even his closest friends and family members.

"I can't trust anyone anymore," he said. "What if they're all just trying to trick me again?"

The situation has become so severe that Johnson has started wearing a tinfoil hat to protect himself from potential mind-reading attempts.

"I don't know who to trust, so I have to protect myself," he explained.

When asked if he had considered simply checking the date of April Fool's Day in the future, Johnson responded with a resounding "no."

"I can't take any chances," he said.

As of press time, Johnson was reportedly holed up in his apartment, surrounded by an array of anti-prank gadgets and gizmos.

Experts warn that the incident highlights the dangers of calendar confusion and urge the public to double-check important dates to avoid similar mishaps in the future.

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